


Hermione with a Gun

by GraceFinePairingsPodcast



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Like the punch from book three but different, Revenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:28:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26251204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GraceFinePairingsPodcast/pseuds/GraceFinePairingsPodcast
Summary: A request from listener PlantFeline: "I'd love to know what you think could have happened in HP if Hermione had a gun."Hermione uses a muggle strategy to get Draco off her back.
Kudos: 6





	Hermione with a Gun

**Author's Note:**

> Featured in the Season 2 Finale of Fine Pairings Podcast

Hermione took a deep breath as she drew the invisibility cloak more tightly around her. The cloak draped along the floor without Harry and Ron huddled underneath it with her. Her footsteps echoed slightly as she descended down the stairs in the dim light of Hogwarts after curfew. She made an effort to step even more lightly, knowing she would not have an explanation if she were to be caught. Not that nearly anyone would be able to identify the muggle gun she had tucked away under her robes. Hermione shook her head at the thought: wizards consistently underestimating muggles...and muggleborns. 

It was for this very reason that Hermione had emboldened herself to sneak out of the Gryffindor common room so late at night. Draco’s words still tumbling in her ears from before Christmas holiday. “Filthy mudblood.” He had spit at her, shoving his shoulder into her, causing her to trip and fall to the ground, her standard stack of books fanning out in front of her, notes ready to be trampled by passing students. Crabbe and Goyle roaring with laughter, even a group of Ravenclaws snickering at her misstep. Hermione had kept her eyes down, not wanting to give Malfoy any undeserved attention for his actions, but he was encouraged by his minions’ laughter. 

“Aww, widdle Gwanger.” He mocked. “Muggwle can’t even wearn to walk.” 

Hermione kept her icy stare towards the ground, collecting the items and hoping to leave the Syltherins behind, but Draco wasn’t finished.

“Why even bother letting her stay here, as if her breeding is any match for mine.” Draco scoffed at his friends. “Can you imagine? Her father trying to go against mine?” At this he let out a laugh intended for everyone in the corridor to hear. “Daddy Granger would be dead in seconds.”

At this Hermione turned, cheeks blazing. 

“You can make fun of me all you want.” She stood, eyes fixed on Draco’s arrogant face. “But you do not threaten my family.” 

At this, the group burst into laughter again. “Look at how red she is!” Goyle pointed at Hermione, keeling over trying to breath. 

Hermione could feel tears breaching the surface, and turned on her heels before breezing past a group of 6th years that seemed to be muttering among themselves about whether or not to intervene in a third year scuffle. 

Draco was loathsome, but something about this time, no more than two minutes of Hermione’s day, had been different. Maybe it was because the holiday was so soon approaching, and Hermione had so dearly been missing her parents. Regardless, Draco’s comment had given her an idea. One that would surely put the fear of Merlin in him long enough to give Hermione some peace.

Hermione located the steps that lead to the stone wall that opened to the Slytherin common room. Her hand ever so gently grazing the pocket of her robes that held the gun, just as a reminder that it was still there. She saw the stone wall approach her and whispered;

“Serpentem vectem” the password she had obtained earlier in the night by an unsuspecting first year. 

After quickly assessing that no one remained in the common room, Hermione lightly crept over to Malfoy’s quarters. She expected he may have obtained a single-room somehow, due to his told affluence, but was mistaken. She noted three other beds aside from Malfoy’s four-poster and huffed in slight annoyance. 

“Muffliato” She whispered, quickly obtaining her wand from within the cloak, causing the unnecessary sleeping boys to hear nothing aside from a drowning buzz. 

Now safe from potential disruptions, Hermione pulled the gun from its hideaway. Obtaining it wasn’t hard. It was an old pistol her father kept safely locked away in an antique box in his closet. Fortunately, muggle locks weren’t much of a barrier for Hermione anymore. She would typically humour her parents, like the rule abiding child she was, but very desperate times called for rule-breaking. She had learned that many times in her last three years at Hogwarts. 

Hermione, gun now in hand, finger on the trigger, looked for one last moment at Draco’s slack-jawed, sleeping face, before firing the pistol into the headboard above him. Malfoy woke with a gasp, flailing frantically for a wand or perhaps to find the source of the noise. Before he could get his bearings, Hermione leapt on top of him, holding him down to his bed. 

“Granger?!” He said, finally recognizing her. “What the hell is going on?”

“You foul excuse for a boy.” Hermione hissed quietly, hoping Draco’s eardrums weren’t ringing too loudly to hear her. She pressed the long side of the barrel of the gun against Malfoy’s cheek. 

“What is that thing?” Draco squirmed against the foreign, cold, object on his skin, but Hermione kept him rooted to his spot. “Get off of me!” He demanded, now gaining some strength.

“Not until you swear to leave me and my family alone.” Hermione struggled to hold down Draco’s shoulders while still keeping her hand on the gun.

“Ha!” Draco started, now looking her directly in the eye. “In your dreams Ganger. What are you going to do? Hex me? I’ll have you expelled and sent back to the nasty hovel you crawled out of.”

With this Hermione calmly brought herself off of Draco to stand at his bedside. Her arms crossed, gun lazily held against her.

“Honestly. Aren’t you Slytherin’s meant to be more self preserving? But of course you would underestimate muggle technology, wouldn’t you?”

“Theo, Crabbe, wake up!” Said Draco, now remembering his companions. “Granger’s gone absolutely loony.” 

“I tried to warn you.” Hermione reasoned, but bringing the gun up in front of her and swiveling to Draco’s lower half. With straight aim (along with close proximity) Hermione shot Draco in the leg. A small tuft of fluff escaped from the duvet covering Draco’s extremities. He shrieked in a combination of pain and confusion, as Hermione took a moment to watch the blood begin to trail from the mound of bedding. Discreetly, she grabbed the invisibility cloak and cooly exited the dormitory. She flourished the invisibility cloak over her, and reversed the “muffliato” charm she had placed. The sounds of sudden clamor faded behind her as she made her way back to her own bed, unsure if Madam Pomfrey had even treated a bullet hole before.


End file.
